Week 41: June 22-26

Day 186: 090626
Another story in need of an ending: NR. I can’t explain how I feel about NR because I can’t nail it down. But I can say that we have an understanding. Not an understanding in the sense of an all-but-explicit deal, but an understanding in the sense of some deeper, weirder connection that evades description. There is no earthly reason for our getting each other, but we do. Anyway, about a week before the end of school, she just stopped coming. Last Monday, the last day of classes, she came in to say goodbye. Turns out she had spent the previous week in family court and the judge took custody away from her mother. Then she and her siblings were adopted—or put into foster care?—with a family in Connecticut. She seemed quite calm, perhaps bittersweet, about it. She was in the building because her new guardian was trying to arrange for her to take the Regents and RCTs even though she had been discharged from the school. I explained to her that she didn’t need them because she was in Connecticut and not New York anymore. She then said Connecticut was part of New York, and I was reminded of why knowing geography is actually important in the real world. We said goodbye. And I truly wish her the best in her new life.

The last day of school is truly horrendous. For the first hour, we sat in a big line outside with our third period attendance folders and handed report cards out to our kids. I sat next to Ms. H, who is moving to Saratoga Springs over the summer. Ms. H was instrumental in getting me this job back when I started the Teaching Fellows program. I spent the summer before I started as a full-time teacher as her student-teacher in summer school. I was glad to have a chance to say goodbye.

I then spent a good portion of the day hanging out in Ms. Po’s room with Mr. K and, intermittently, Mr. L. For a spell, we also had Ms. T crocheting on the windowsill and fuming about her overall U for the year. She received a U, or unsatisfactory, on the sole basis of her unsatisfactory attendance. Come to find out none of us particularly likes her or respects her, so it was a little awkward when she was looking for our compassion and we were mostly annoyed. We walked to a deli around the corner for lunch, mostly just to get out of the building, and she was gone by the time we came back. Ms. Po and I have reconciled, in that quiet way that happens when you see someone everyday and there’s more you have in common than there is dividing you.

At the end of the day, we picked up our summer pay stubs, signed the attendance, and walked out. I carried my lawn chair out of the building, over the footbridge, and bungeed it into the trunk. And so ended the year.

Day 185: 090625
I carpooled to graduation with Mr. B and Ms. M. On the car ride to Lehman we shared our conspiracy theories about the administration. Everyone in the school has his or her own version of the corruption that must plague our school. Because how else can you explain what happens around here? Our theories on this particular morning focused on the excessing and unexcessing that tore the school up over the past couple weeks.

My particularly far-fetched theory revolves around money—I know: shocker. There’s a deal on with the DOE that any schools that hire ATRs (Absent Teacher Reserves, if you will recall) will only have to pay that ATR the base salary for teachers and the central DOE will pick up the rest of the teacher’s salary. I like to think the administration excessed us so that they could hire us back at a cheaper salary, letting central take the hit of our master’s degrees and years in the system. This is pretty far fetched, but I like to think it could work.

Ms. M was particularly excited to share her conspiracy theory. She thinks the administration excessed everyone really early in order to smoke out the teachers who knew they weren’t going to come back next year but weren’t going to say anything until the absolute last day. In other words, the administration used me, Ms. L, Mr. B and at least eleven other teachers as tools to gather information. As Ms. M pointed out, it makes sense that teachers would wait until the last minute to say they’re leaving for another school because Principal N has functionally alienated her entire teaching staff (which she knows, by the way, see Day 104 for her awkward conversation with Ms. L). So how does the principal solve that problem? By alienating more of her staff by excessing them and then hiring every single one of them back a few weeks later.

I’d write about graduation, but it was remarkable only for the degree to which it was unremarkable. We had to sit on the stage but at least we got to go home directly after the event.

On a matter only tangentially related to the blog, Michael Jackson died today. There aren’t many commonalities between me and my students, culturally speaking, but Michael Jackson was one. Anytime I put “Thriller” on in the room, a half-dozen kids would ask me to leave it on or put it back on when the lesson was over. I think the tragedy of his death is bothering me more than is rational because of the tragedy I see writ large over every school day.

Day 184: 090624
On my way into the building this morning I ran into AR. In the end, AR came through with a passing grade. At the end of first semester, AR had a 60%—a grade neither failing nor passing. If AR earned a 55% at the end of this semester, that 60% would become a 55% and he would fail both semesters. But because he got a 65% this semester, that 60% became a 65% and he passed both semesters. I explained all this to AR—again—and he was quite happy. Then doubly so to hear that I was coming back next year. Then sad to hear Ms. L was most definitely not.

I proctored the US History RCT to a bunch of my kids. BR, AR, CP, RQ, DS, TT, LJS: the kiddies were all there. And it was a read-aloud room, which is kind of the most boring thing ever in the world. And I could see the kids bubbling in the wrong answers as they took the test; the United States is not a constitutional monarchy, people!

At the end of the session, after all the other kids had finished, I was left alone with CP again. He was desperately thinking in order to write those essays. The only difference between the test and our average Monday afternoon together was that I could say no to spelling words for him. And then Ms. B came in to relieve me. God bless her.

The highlight of my day was giving out end of the year gifts (bought because I thought I was never coming back). I got five of these jingling weeble-like thingies on the grounds that the best gift for people you work with is something stupid and whimsical and safe for children 18 months and older. With the exception of Dean B, who I believe was overwhelmed and confused and embarrassed by my gesture, everyone loved them. Ms. M, AP A, Ms. EV and Ms. Po were quite delighted with their prezzies. AP A couldn’t believe that the lucky number that came with her Wish Come True was in actuality her lucky number: five. She and Ms. EV had smiles breaking their faces as they wobbled the little guys all over the counter and listened to their chimes. Never underestimate the power of whimsy.

Day 183: 090623
And I thought there was nothing to do yesterday. Today was endless. I can’t remember the last time I was so bored. I spent a couple minutes poking around the school to discover if we have a literary journal. Because I’m me, now that I no longer have Mercy to deal with I’m looking for something else to fill my time. If the school doesn’t have a literary journal and has any bit of money left in the budget for next year, I’m hoping I can fill that void. And get paid for it, too. After the brief interlude of productivity in the service of the school, I watched Mr. P and Ms. Po throw leftover gak across the room at each other. Imagine filling eight hours with those two stories and you pretty much get an idea of my day.

KC: another story in need of an ending. If you’re a meticulous reader, you probably noticed that KC was a major fixture of this blog in its early days and then disappeared almost entirely. That’s what happened in reality. Second semester, KC was barely in the classroom. On the days he was, I loved him. He was sweet, did the work and mostly kept his mouth shut. As though he was another person. Ms. L and I were discussing it before she left (sob). Her hypothesis is that he was teased for being “Mexican” a little too much. The anti-Mexican sentiment is worthy of remark. I don’t pretend to understand the racial dynamics in the Bronx aside from the broad strokes—Dominicans are not the same as Puerto Ricans and one should never compare the two—but the derisive sneer that accompanies “Mexican” every time it is uttered is disconcerting. I certainly should have done more to pursue the problem, but KC is the cliche: he fell through the cracks.

Day 182: 090622
I didn’t have to report to work this morning until eleven. So I made myself some French toast and took a relaxing bath before heading to work. I was still almost a half hour early. I spent about an hour listening to Child 44 on my iPod and packing up what remained of my room. I left the Word Wall for last. It is one of my favorite parts of the room, reminds me that words are one of the reasons I teach. You know, a reason that doesn’t throw gum across the room or call me his “nigga.” Then I ate lunch and spent a couple hours reading Born Confused, a selection from my classroom library.

Then I read the internet and did some writing for another hour. As I was sitting at the computer, a tiny little mouse snuck out from the radiator and wandered around but a few feet away from me. It’s not like I was being that quiet; the keyboard at my school computer is very clackety-clack. But the silence pervading the seventh floor must have been enough to convince the little guy that all was safe. Sadly, my camera was across the room and by the time I walked over to get the mouse had slipped back under the radiator.

Mr. L and I spent some time shooting the shit, waiting for 4:45 when we were set to proctor. Fortunately for both of us, all the kids in our test room were finished with their tests by the time our shift came around. Mr. B was in the same boat. We wandered into AP A’s office and asked if we could leave early, seeing as there were no kids left to proctor to. She said yes, as long as we signed a whole boatload of IEPs. Super-illegal! Mr. B and I signed them all, though, because once you’re chest-deep in the shit it seems a little silly to get prissy about another inch of it.
___

New pictures all over the place: Day 163, Day 168, Day 169, Day 173 and Day 175.

Week 39: June 8-12

090612: Day 176
Tests last year were awesome: the kids shut up and took them. This year, tests mean I have to work four times as hard to keep the lid on. There are two ways of looking at this. One: I’m not meeting the kids where they are, which is only being able to focus for five, maybe ten, minutes. Two: This is a baptism by fire, as they have to learn to take period-long tests now that they are in high school. High school. I take the latter view: I’m helping them man up for the rest of their school lives.

Today they wrote four-paragraph essays in response to one of three questions:

A. Is there too much violence on TV and in the movies? Why or why not? Give 2 reasons that support your answer.
B. Do the police and metal detectors make our school better or worse? Why? Give 2 reasons that support your answer.
C. Should people save sex for marriage? Why or why not? Give 2 reasons that support your answer.

After today, the multiple-choice portion on Monday will seem like a reward.

090611: Day 175
FR is in the SAVE room until the end of the year! And JC is suspended! Bitch, yeah. This means the other students in fourth period will actually be able to focus on their finals instead of the zoo that is the classroom.

Further information on the Dean-B-is-spreading-rumors front: I guess he’s been “spreading rumors” about how Ms. L’s new principal (who worked at our school just last year) and Principal N have bad blood. Is it still a rumor if it’s based in fact? Not that I actually know the facts, being the rumor-mongering bitch I am, but I’m assured of its probability based on what I’ve seen this year.

090610: Day 174
I’m pretty certain that FR said he would kill me if I kicked him out of the room again today. I don’t really think he will kill me—or anyone, ever—but I wrote it down because I’m out to get him. I am only human; kid makes my life miserable. So, he came up to my desk and read what I wrote. Then, standing but a foot away from me, said to my face, “Are you fucking stupid? You fucking stupid?” So I kicked him out. Dean B came for him and I was once left amazed at how Dean B has become one of the only people in the building I trust implicitly.

The drama surrounding Ms. L’s excessing and un-excessing continued today. Ms. L said she told AP A she was nervous about meeting with Principal N because she knew the principal yelled at Ms. RM last year when she resigned to go teach in Texas. So this information made it all around the building and ended with AP D ripping Dean B a new one for “spreading rumors,” Dean B being invited to an audience with the Principal herself and perhaps his receiving a letter in his file for “spreading rumors.” Of course, Ms. L and I heard from Ms. RM’s mouth how the principal yelled at her, so we’re a little uncertain about how Dean B was spreading rumors. But truth is not guiding force at our school.

090609: Day 173
Ms. L’s excessing was rescinded today. Ironically, Ms. L was planning on meeting with the principal today to say she had taken another position. But forget that Mr. B was hired before her. AP A told her not to touch the politics of the thing, presumably because they are a nasty piece of business. Ms. EV and AP A then ominously told Ms. L not to sign anything. This advice has had the effect of making Ms. L freak the fuck out. Neither of us can quite figure out what could happen to her—she has a new position—but this is also the school that broke the contract to un-excess her and wrote a letter accusing Ms. Po of making a false accusation when she did no such thing (see Day 161). Who knows what they could do?

In unrelated news, I had the most awesome Do Now today: the kids had to listen to two minutes of Radiolab that discussed a moral dilemma and apply that discussion to the morality of “Monsters, Inc.” The dilemma revolves around the idea of doing what is best for the individual or what is best for the group—and what to do when the two conflict. For the record, the Radiolab is hilarious and involves some pretty silly sound effects of a train killing lots of people. The kids loved it! Only fourth period wouldn’t shut up long enough for me to play the clip. It was so out of control—again—that I had both JC and FR removed. I am so over the bullshit. If only I could actually tell freshmen to drop out. It would certainly be better for the group if JC and FR never returned to the classroom. Of course, it would be pretty disastrous for them as individuals. But it’s hard not to think their lives are already disasters.

090608: Day 172
I’m showing “Monsters, Inc” today, tomorrow and Wednesday. We all need a break. It’s surprising how much less complicated “Monsters, Inc” is as compared to “The Incredibles.” That said, QF was extraordinarily excited to see the show; apparently it’s one of his favorites.

Seeing as how it’s the end of the year, I figure I should start ending some of the stories I started. LS, whom you may remember from that time she ran away but didn’t really (see Day 122), is no longer on roster. A couple weekends ago she was arrested in Brooklyn and since that time she has been back in a psychiatric institution.

I am sad to lose her. She was creative and literate. Her favorite subject was English. She completed all her homeworks with a high level of effort and proficiency and absolutely destroyed tests. Her short story, involving two girls fighting over a shoe stuck to the carpet with gum, was inspired and violent.

Sometimes kids are fucked up beyond your reckoning before you even meet them.

Week 15: December 1-5

081205: Day 64
After watching an episode of “Supernanny” on the internet the other day, I was reminded of the importance of praise. Supernanny was just being her usual, awesome self, advising sad/crazy mom that she needed to use ample praise to encourage her kids when they were doing well, but it was kind of revelatory for me.

I am embarrassed to say that it took “Supernanny” to make me realize that praising the good kids will probably improve class morale and functionality better than yelling, and take less energy to boot. So many of the kids are abominable, but even more of them are sweet, want to learn, and hold strong in the face of the chaos that is our classrooms.

Sadly, rewards remain canceled (see Day 46), at least partially because I got injured this week due to my kids’ poor behavior, so I photocopied the following note onto florescent paper:

Dear _____________________________,

Thank you for your excellent work today! Let this note show that I recognize and appreciate your effort in class.

best,
Ms. G

I personalized them during class, added a smiley face next to my name, and passed them out at the conclusion to the kids who deserved them. BU was ecstatic–if faces could really glow, his would have been on fire–so I consider the idea a success.

081204: Day 63
I was physically harmed during class today. SC has been sexually harassing SF for an undetermined length of time: he was making sexual remarks about her and her grandmother today in my class and he showed her his penis in the cafeteria earlier in the week. SF finally had enough and she chased him, presumably to hit him. SC ran full bore into my gut, knocking the wind out of me.

SC is suspended for the sixth or seventh time. SF filed sexual harassment charges against him with the school and with the police. AP A called SC’s mom into the school and pressured her to have him reevaluated: he cannot deal with a community school and needs a specialized setting. At least, that’s what we hope the reevaluation will determine.

81203: Day 62
Leaving school directly after the last bell rings is much different than waiting twenty or thirty minutes: all the students are still outside. Busting through them all waiting at the bus stop to get up the steps of the footbridge can be a little challenging. Today it seemed unusually hard. I had made my way through the crowd at the foot of the steps only to find that the crowd was moving with me.

When I went to South Africa with my dad and stepmom, our game ranger drove our Land Rover directly into the middle of a herd of water buffalo. We sat there in wonderment as hundreds of water buffalo rushed around us, parting around the vehicle’s back and closing back together at its front. I could have reached out and touched them.

That’s what I felt like walking to my car as a tens of dozens of students streamed past me, jostling against each other to get through. I saw a number of my own students–one actually paused briefly to say hi–in the crowd. It wasn’t until I got to the top of the steps that I heard a student say there was a fight, between two girls no less.

Hive mind is the only explanation I can find for the affair. The teenagers were like bees–or the Borg. Once one knew about the fight, instantaneously they all knew. They swarmed in unison to the epicenter of action with barely a mention of the event itself.

081202: Day 61
I had to skip school to complete my graduate work. I sat at that study carrel from a little before 10 this morning until 4:45 this evening. Oh, I peed a couple times and went downstairs to buy a Pepsi, but that’s it. I am still not done, and my integrated unit plan is due Wednesday at 6:30.

While I was away from school, at least one of my students was suspended for behavior in my class. According to Ms. LATR (in the ATR, bless her), BJ stole my metal ruler–stupid, I thought I put everything away–and then refused to give it back. There is some question as to whether he actually had it, but either which way the end result of his defiance was Ms. LATR’s calling security. Then everything went to pot: BJ refused to leave, swore at Ms. LATR and took a swing at AP L.

Yes, he punched AP L in the face. Apparently, he’s a lousy punch, though, so AP L was unharmed. BJ’s been suspended for only three days because AP L took off his jacket before escorting him out, which could be considered “provocation.”

081201: Day 60
I am a special educator. I teach students with IEPs who are variously classified as learning disabled, ADD, ADHD, speech and language impaired, and emotionally disturbed. In fact, more than half my students this year are ED. I make this clear so you will understand the context that surrounds today’s installment of “God, get me out of here!”

Earlier in the year, Mr. C complained to me about the drumming that goes on in my classroom. He is in the room directly below me and was bothered by the rhythm section that is my fourth period. I expressed my empathy by pointing out that I have to be in the room with the kids so I understand how annoying they can be–all the more than he does. I also said I can’t really do anything because the kids themselves cannot stop themselves. It’s called ADHD and it’s real.

Today, he sent Dean B up to my room after third period to complain for him about the drumming. I suggested to Dean B that perhaps it was my walking around in heels that was doing it. Apparently the drumming was rhythmic and thus my kids, not I, were implicated. I then mentioned to Dean B that there was little I could do to control it as I teach special education. It is in fact against the law to deny a kid his right to an education based on disability (see IDEA and NCLB), so I don’t consider removing students who drum from my room a viable option.

Fourth period is far away the most ADHD of my classes–DJ and SS truly cannot control the energy in their bodies–and is also filled with students who have what one could call Oppositional Defiant Disorder. (I find the “diagnosis” of “oppositional defiant disorder” rude and probably politically motivated when it shows up, but it is a good descriptor). Mr. C called up to my classroom–interrupting my class, by the way–and asked that I ask my class to stop drumming. Not sure who pissed in his Wheaties this morning, but such was his request. My fourth period did not take kindly to some dude they don’t even know yelling at them over the phone for their disabilities. So they stomped on the floor and picked up their desks to drop them a little. In short, it was a disaster.

Oh, but it didn’t end there. I don’t know what your experiences are with yelling at outraged students who in the best of situations say “fuck you” to authority figures, but I can tell you it isn’t a good strategy. I myself was going the “do it for me” route, which tends to be much more effective. I had just told them that I don’t care about the drumming, but Mr. C seems to be in a bad mood and I have to work with him, so please, for me, stop being extra loud and stompy, etc. Then they all yelled at me! Fucking ODD bastards. But they’re my ODD bastards, not Dean B’s or Mr. C’s–a distinction both my students and I appreciate. So when Dean B came back and yelled at all of them, their anger only spiraled and the stomping became worse.

I’m pretty sure Dean B came back another time, but I kicked him out. He wasn’t so much helping when he told my kids with disabilities that they needed to grow up. I do that all the time and they don’t care. He offered to take out any kid doing the least bit of drumming, but I won’t let that happen. I understand they were doing a lot of it on purpose today, but I think they were in the right. They have a right to an education, ADHD and ODD notwithstanding. Who is Mr. C to tell them to stop being themselves?

This interlude wasted about fifteen minutes, which, on top of the good ten minutes fourth period wastes daily, pretty much killed more than half the period. Fortunately, my lesson came in a good ten-fifteen minutes short today when done with minimal discussion. We were still able to get everything done.

———-
Update: New film picture on Day 56.

Week 13: November 17-21

081121: Day 56
Yesterday and today, I had the laptop carts in the room so my kids could type their short stories. I want to publish them into a big anthology–I’m really excited about this–and letting them type their stories kills two birds with one stone: I don’t need to lesson plan AND I don’t need to type their stories. As usual, fourth period was a bit of a zoo, but they were getting good work done in the midst of it. Conversation devolved into a discussion of virginity, and DJ proudly announced he was not a virgin. I immediately put my fingers in my ears and began to sing. Cuz, ew.

NR, JG and LMS–three of the nine girls on my roster, all of them in the above mentioned fourth period–finished their math tests in fifth period and came back to my room to keep working on their stories. My fifth period is probably why I can continue to teach: every kid in the room was working quietly, either typing or writing their story. NR looked at me, declared, “Yo, miss, our class would never be like this.” She was baffled by the good behavior. It was like she was observing animals in the wild and didn’t want to disturb them for fear they would vanish forever. And then she bowed her head and got down to working on her story. It was awesome.

On an unrelated note, Ms. P shared with us an exchange between MG and JW, both of whom are in my first period. (Only technically: MG comes 2 days out of 5, and JW hasn’t come once since the first week of school.) Apparently, they were talking about me in her science class, and JW was teasing MG about how much he liked me. You know, how MG goes home every day after school and thinks about me, “Oh, Ms. G . . . Oh, Ms. G . . .” I think there was pantomime involved.

081120: Day 55
I had a fight in my classroom. Let me quote from my Dean’s Report:

During my third period today, FR and RQ got into a physical fight. At the beginning of the period, I saw RQ hit FR in the back of the head. RQ claimed that FR hit him first, but I didn’t see it. I wouldn’t excuse it either way, so I asked RQ to apologize. RQ refused, so I asked him to move his desk away from FR’s, which he did.

FR continued to demand RQ to apologize, I asked him to stop and said I would talk to RQ after class about. FR then got in RQ’s face, putting his shoulder against RQ’s and pushing him in circles, demanding RQ apologize. RQ told him he wasn’t playing anymore.

Then they began to genuinely fight. One of them had the other in a headlock (I’m not sure who was holding whom) and the two of them went down in the room. They ripped posters off the wall of my room with their feet as they fell, knocked the LCD projector askew and almost knocked a laptop off a desk (we were using laptops today).

SQ and CP broke up the fight. Dean B then came in and settled the situation.

FR is a continual behavior problem in class. We (the ninth grade house) have contacted his mother on 10/17, 10/21 and 11/19. We have also made a guidance referral. But the behavior problems persist. He was bragging about the fight after he returned to fourth and fifth periods today.

RQ can be disruptive, but is usually on task.

This is the response I received:

Dean S mediated. Both students understand if they are another incident that occurs

I didn’t miscopy that: that’s the email in its entirety.

What was I saying about having no support? SC swears at a Dean and gets suspended. Two boys physically fight in my classroom, destroying a poster on the wall and endangering multiple expensive pieces of technology, and nothing happens to them. I am continually agog at the rapid decline my school is taking.

081119: Day 54
SC was suspended for the fifth time today. For swearing at Dean B (again) and Ms. P (again). Looking at how many days we’ve been in session, he must get suspended once every ten days. Considering his suspensions last 5 days, he will have been suspended roughly half the days he’s been in school.

DT, who skipped the first, oh, 8 weeks of school, is back to attending regularly. He plays all the time. Only, he’s not so much playing as toying with the idea of breaking laws. I caught him putting a tissue in the shade of my desk lamp, on top of the light bulb. He claimed that tissues “cool it down.” Let me be clear, DT is not a stupid kid: he tried to catch my lamp on fire, on purpose. Fortunately for me, I’m not stupid, either, and I have a CFL in that lamp.

Later, he tried to palm one of the USB drives I bought to save everyone’s short stories on to. Once again, he tried to joke it away. I’m pretty sure he is a criminal.

081118: Day 53
It occurred to me today that my administration doesn’t so much care about the discipline and disrespect issues going in the ninth grade special education house. Our troubles are rather widely known, because we are all excellent story tellers, so why hasn’t our principal asked to meet with us? I’m sure she should care. And she should want to help us out, especially given how many of our kids keep getting suspended. Suspensions look very bad for a school. Truly, our kids have had more suspensions these first three months of school than my kids had all of last year.

Two boys–JR and DC–told me that they had been holding their anger in for a long time, but if their peers kept playing/messing with them, they were going to become violent in class. Naturally, I went to my assistant principal; she told me to email their related service providers (counselors). Of course, DC’s related service provider is part-time–only in school on Mondays and Tuesdays. And she has no email. When I looked at AP A like, “are you kidding me? that’s it?” she had no response. There is nothing to be done but email (or type a memo and drop it in a box) and wait for this woman to come back next week. So, if DC happens to become violent in class, as he warned me, oh well. Ms. H won’t be back until Monday.

There is no one to help us.

081117: Day 52
SC is a special kind of kid. He is fourteen, cannot be taller than five feet, and has the biggest, vilest mouth in the house. He has been working very hard to catch up in my class–four suspensions have a way of putting a kid behind the eight ball–and is quite sweet to me. Of course, at the end of third period today, he made this remark about Ms. P: “I want to slap her in the face.”

In short succession, the conversation devolved into sexual remarks about Ms. P, including JO (I’m so glad he got added to my class a couple weeks ago) saying something about her face, then denying he said anything about her face by saying, “I said she has a good body.”

It’s not even like they say these things thinking I can’t hear them. They slur their teachers in front of other teachers. Regularly. So I spent my eighth period prep calling parents again.

* * *
Update: I put new film pictures up: Day 44 and Day 39.

Week 9: October 20-24

081024: Day 37
Last year, I met maybe 14 parents total during parent-teacher conferences. I read the Norton Anthology of Poetry to keep myself amused in the downtime between conferences. I ate almost all of the cookies I made.

This year, we had something like 35 parents show up over the course of two days. We sat at the four tables in the back of Ms. L’s room and talked to parent after parent after parent with almost no break in between. We put out cookies and snacks at the beginning of the conferences and looked up two hours later to find all the goodies gone and the trash can busting out with napkins and cups.

Listening to my coworkers–and myself–I was proud. I work with amazing women who are truthful and compassionate and dedicated to supporting their students. I’m sorry for the parents who didn’t take the opportunity to sit with us and discuss their child’s school life. Hearing our conferences, it’s hard to believe that they can’t make a difference.

081023: Day (and Night) 36
Sweet crap, parents. Ms. P, Ms. P, Ms. L and I divvied up our kids and each called 20 or so parents to remind them of parent-teacher conferences. It worked. We sat down to talk to parents at a little before six o’clock and didn’t stop at all until ten after eight. Ms. L talked until nine–a half hour past the end of conferences. It was awesome, both in scope and consequence.

The number of kids who look almost exactly like their parents kept me privately tickled as I explained the poor choices many students make in my class.

DD’s mother (with whom I had the most awkward phone conversation ever) wasn’t sure where he was instead of being in class to take my test earlier in the day because she was fed up with him and had dropped him off at his grandmother’s the night before. Maybe his dad came and took him–she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure. Aside from that, I thought she was quite lovely, actually.

Spoke to two mothers of boys who never–truly, never–come to first period English. I don’t know exactly how those conversations lasted more than two minutes, because I certainly don’t know anything about the kids. You know, because they don’t show up. Ever. But still, the mothers kept talking.

Oh, and then there was the pain of meeting GL’s mom. GL has not adjusted well to high school. He is terrified daily and won’t even say hi to his teachers. Our other kids try to talk to him and be friends with him, but he won’t say one word to them and actually looks terrified if they speak to him. But he’s sad he has no friends. Ms. L and I watched his mother turn from encouraging to mad as shit (her word) because GL hadn’t turned in any history homework yet. But her anger was dispassionate: she seemed like she was trying to make herself mad enough to really yell at him. For our benefit (so we would see she cared?). She told GL that she wanted to “jump across the table and strangle him,” and it was unconvincing but terrifying. Clearly, the kid needs more therapy than we can provide.

081022: Day 35
I expect a certain amount of chaos in the classroom the morning after I return from a day off school. It’s usual to find books strewn about, handouts left on desks, and the desks themselves scattered about the room. Last year, my sixth period seniors stole all of my candy one day I was out, which was disappointing but not entirely unexpected.

So, I wasn’t surprised to find chaos in my room: my fake flowers were falling down, the desks were everywhere, books left on the floor, desk and heater, etc. But I also found one of the stupid little toys on my desk underneath the lawn chair, a desk covered from edge to edge in blue pen scribble, my candy bucket empty (though I told Ms. L to empty it and eat the candy, in order to prevent my kids from doing that–I wonder if she did?), and my bouncy ball stolen.

So far this year, my kids have stolen 10 or so overhead markers, uncountable pens and pencils, and my purple math pencil that Ms. V gave me for my birthday last year. The loss of pens and pencils I take as a given–I bought a lot to compensate for this–but the overhead markers, my bouncy ball and my math pencil kind of piss me off. I have to buy new overhead markers, and those fuckers are expensive. I know my kids understand the difference between “mine” and “yours.” Why can’t they apply that knowledge so I don’t have to spend more money?

081021: Day 34
I played hookie, and it was good.

I made peanut butter squares and peanut butter cookies and chocolate chip cookies to get ready for Parent-Teacher Night, except the peanut butter squares are just for me and Jeff. Yum.

I spent hours on the bed reading Clown Girl, which people on Goodreads seem not to like but has me completely enamored.

We got cable. Our cable woman sounded exactly like Paula Poundstone and had a manicure. She was awesome. I proceeded to waste the rest of the day coloring my flocked monster poster with my tiny crayola markers and watching TV.

081020: Day 33
KC (see Day 19) has been doing pretty well in my class the past couple weeks. That doesn’t mean he’s being good, per se, just that he’s being good enough in fourth period. Fortunately for him, his good behavior saved him when Dean B brought him to my door at the beginning of the period.

Dean B was quite excited and ready to take KC on down to room 144, our in-house suspension and SAVE room, probably because KC was talking smack at him and just generally making life in the hallways hard: “Ms. G, you want me to take him down to 144? I would love to . . . I’ll be on this hallway all period. If you have any problems at all, I’ll be happy to . . . ” etc., etc.

I couldn’t in good faith send KC away, though, because he’s been doing his work in my class and kind of containing himself–only one or two dolphin screeches a day.